I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
