I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
