Will you blow on my dice?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
