I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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