Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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