White coat. Heels.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
