I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My ass is underappreciated
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
