So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
