I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
