Got a toothbrush?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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