i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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