I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
