Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
