So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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