oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
