He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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