evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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