so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
