yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
