ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
