girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
