By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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