Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
