if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
