FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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