He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
