Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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