the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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