Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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