I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
