I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
