all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
