remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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