Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
