i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
