Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
