im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
