I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My dick has a subreddit
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
