He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
