I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
