dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
