Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
