Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
