so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
