did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
