and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
