i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
