the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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