Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Are we still banned from the library?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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