Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
