Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
