I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
